On Shifting Ground
by HammersNStrings
Summary: Remus Lupin had spent his life being bitter at things he couldn't control. With the Order of the Phoenix being reassembled, a hesitant Lupin rejoins, only to find that his cynical life view doesn't sit well with a peculiar, pink haired Auror. Despite his refusal to "be a good boy", Lupin starts to find that this time... this war... is different. But will he let her change his view?
1. Chapter 1

Remus Lupin was a despicable person. He knew this as much as anyone. In between cigarettes, he looked over the room around him. Various knick-knacks and baubles lay with great care upon tidy shelves, while a Muggle television softly glowed in the background. Yes, Remus Lupin was a despicable man.

He lit up a last cigarette and donned his jumper and slacks, taking one last inventory of the scene. Everything seemed to be in place well enough. He looked over the bed and saw the sleeping form of a blonde woman. A meager conquest. An end to a means. Remus Lupin was a perverted, despicable man.

With the full moon getting nearer and nearer, the beast within him continued to rage angrily inside him. On those nights before the full moon, Remus would always give the wolf what it wanted, and he was charming enough to coax some lovely woman into taking him back to her place, only for him to leave before daybreak. It had become a monthly ritual. And this Muggle woman? Well, it was better she be an end to a means than he be a means to her end, correct? Remus Lupin was a dirty, despicable man.

Ever since Lily and James were murdered, Remus was a shell of his former self. If the Potters were still around; hell, if Sirius was around, they may have been able to keep these disgusting aspects of him in check. But he couldn't make excuses. This was his choice. In a world where prejudice had forced him out of the best job he ever had, Remus Lupin was a very bitter, despicable man.

No, his personality had not always been that way. Kind, forgiving Remus was always the most noble of prats when it came to defending honour and all that rubbish. While he would never turn his allegiance to the Dark Arts, he felt that as someone who was considered less-than-human, he had the right to be a little angry. To be a little reckless. After all, none of the women he ever bothered getting to know had ever stuck around more than a night after he revealed his deepest, darkest secret. And then, when he gave up on telling the truth, it appeared that most women didn't like a man that disappeared once a month with no excuse other than "to visit my mum." Remus Lupin was a desperate, despicable man.

The Triwizard Tournament, he knew through the discarded copies of The Daily Prophet, was a wild success, aside from the "tragic accident" involving Cedric Diggory. It had only been two nights ago that Sirius tracked him down and told him the truth. Voldemort had murdered one of his students. One of the students that he, Remus, was teaching to fend off Dark magic. He had failed. Remus Lupin was a failure. Remus Lupin was a despicable man.

The Order of the Phoenix was to be reassembled. Naturally, he would join, but in a smaller role than before. Yes, definitely. The last time he got too involved, he had lost everyone he cared about. He could hear his mother's tortured scream as she was submitted to the Cruciatus Curse over and over, until she revealed his hiding spot. She never did. In fact, she never spoke again. All to defend her shape-shifting freak of a child. He should have known they'd come after his parents. He should have known that his Muggle father would have tried to fight magic with firepower. He should have known that the Killing Curse would be used all too quickly against him while he tended to the family vegetable garden. But he was too busy fighting Death Eaters, figuring that the protection charm around his family's cottage would have been enough. It wasn't. No, this time, he would do his duty, but at a distance. Remus Lupin was a broken, despicable man.

Once his cigarette was greedily sucked dry and his nicotine fix was sated, Remus blew one last smoke ring before withdrawing his wand and placing it against the woman's forehead. It had been an amazing night, and she had been a partner that was more willing than most to indulge in his particular style of rough play. His mouth crooked into a sad smile, reliving the night one last time, as it would have to hold him over during the full moon.

"_Confundo._"

Remus Lupin was a despicable man.


	2. At Headquarters

Remus had Apparated into the small, hedge filled square of Grimmauld Place, groaning to himself. His best friend had invited him over to this very spot once more, revealing the house tucked between numbers eleven and thirteen, but it was no longer visible. Sirius' dear mum must have taken care of that. He stared bitterly at the cobblestone walkway before pulling another cigarette to his lips.

"I knew you'd come," said a familiar voice from a few feet behind. Remus turned about and removed the cigarette from his lips, but the tall, bearded man before him simply smiled with a twinkle in his eye. "And I do believe that the time where I was able to lecture you about bad habits has since passed, Remus."

Remus blushed, but still pocketed the unlit cigarette. "Of course, sir. But I do have a concern. I've been here once before and was forced out by Mrs. Black. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get in."

Albus Dumbledore gave another soft smile. "Remus, in all my years, and I've had a good many years, I find that love, friendship and duty have always trumped prejudice, hatred, and resentment. Wouldn't you agree?"

To this, Remus said nothing. He had surely experienced enough prejudice, hatred, and resentment in his lifetime. Sure, his parents had loved him, but he always had the feeling that they were afraid of him. Lyall Lupin was a cautious man, and his charms and spells to keep his son in check had only lasted until young Remus was ten years old, upon which he started to lose control. Hope, his Muggle mother, was always quick to hug, comfort, and care for her son before and after transformations. But yet, they were the ones that isolated him from society and didn't allow him to have any friends. They were the ones that tried to stop Dumbledore from allowing him into their home. Remus had long since reconciled with his parents about this, but forgetting about his youth was impossible.

Dumbledore was watching Remus carefully, and then moved toward the row of houses. "Remus, the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve Grimmauld Place."

Both men watched as the door with serpentine knocker, then walls, then windows pushed themselves out from in between numbers eleven and thirteen. Dumbledore nodded in satisfaction and then tapped the door, disengaging both the physical and magical locks. He opened the door and stepped inside, motioning for Remus to follow.

Remus took a deep breath and then stepped forward across the threshold. As Dumbledore shut the door, a powerful blast of cool air whipped against his face, pushing him backward hard against the door, while the curtains surrounding a portrait by the landing burst open, revealing the screaming Walburga Black. He hardly had time to register what she was shouting, before a shaggy haired man rushed over to the portrait and slammed the curtains shut.

The man turned to him with a broad grin on his face that even the foulest of Mrs. Black's curses couldn't shake. "Moony! Good to see you, mate!"

Again, before Remus could even react, the man was embracing him in a brotherly hug. He patted Sirius' back before giving him a strange look. "So... a blustering charm? Seems that she remembered my previous visit here."

Sirius let out a barking laugh. "Yeah, I reckon so. You made quite the lasting impression on her, Moony!"

Dumbledore smiled and conjured a chintz armchair from out of nowhere and placed it by the fire in the study. Remus and Sirius followed. As Remus looked around the study, he couldn't help but notice the faded volumes on the molding bookshelves. _Most Potente Potions, Magick Moste Evile, Secrets of the Darkest Art, Sonnets of a Sorcerer._

"Charming collection your dear family has here, Padfoot," mused Remus as he took a seat in a moth eaten chair, waving away Dumbledore's offer of an undoubtedly more comfortable alternative. Sirius too took a seat.

"So, the Order of the Phoenix consists of three so far," noted Sirius.

"With many more to join, as I am sure," replied Dumbledore. "Yes, I do believe Alastor Moody has recovered well enough that he may be dropping by any moment now, with anybody else he feels worthy of the cause."

Remus frowned. He was feeling bitter, resentful. James and Lily died in the first war, and now he wanted to risk more innocent lives? "You're inviting new members, Dumbledore? More blood to spill? More lives to be lost?"

Dumbledore's smile faded from his face. "Remus, as I'm sure you know, if we wish to stop Lord Voldemort, truly this time, there must be others out there who can help confront this great evil. It is no easy task, and it is with great sacrifice, but James and Lily gave their lives to eradicate evil, just as I know you would."

Remus felt himself growing more angry. Taking a deep breath, he rested his elbows on his knees and ruffled his hair. "I _know_ it's for a good cause. I'm not questioning that. I just can't live with myself to know that we're putting more lives at stake."

"Mate, you're taking a foolish line on this one," explained Sirius. "We'll stop them before they get too strong. We've got the leg up on them this time!"

"I cannot promise that lives won't be lost," said Dumbledore. "But, we will be better prepared. And with more people in the Order, it will allow us to do more reconnaissance work and recruitment so that we will not be so vastly outnumbered."

Remus sighed and nodded his head. "Fine. Just... give me some time to think."

He rose from his chair and made his way back to the door. "I'll be back. It's a promise."

With that, he quickly opened the door... perhaps a bit _too _quickly, assomething fell forward and collapsed down onto the floor across the threshold. He looked down to see a pink haired something, and quickly dropped to his knees to help the person up.

"Terribly sorry! Was just on my way to leave," he explained.

"Come off it. Happens to me all the time," came a soft, feminine voice. Remus looked up and saw a pair of twinkling eyes and shocking pink spikes. "Wotcher, mate. My name's Tonks. Just Tonks."

Remus let out a genuine laugh, probably his first in a month. "Very well, Just Tonks. But I'm afraid I must be off."

Remus sidestepped the young woman and came face-to-face with Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody.

"Nice one, Lupin. Trying to kill my recruit before she even steps foot inside the doorway? Well, hurry up! Hurry up! Out with you, before you give away our position! Constant vigilance; you know this, wolf."

Remus rolled his eyes. Mad-Eye's nickname was one that he was used to and didn't mind on a typical day, but with all of the thoughts swimming in his brain, he didn't want to dwell on it too much. Stepping back into the cool air of Grimmauld Square, he looked around and then Disapparated with a crack.


End file.
